Let’s pretend you’re writing a book about your life in 2010. What would the title be?
Scattered Soccer Mom
Party Girl
Drowning in Deadlines
Unkempt
I think mine would be: We All Fall Down (playing on the nursery rhyme “Ring Around the Rosies”)
Remember when you were a child playing Ring Around the Rosies? You hand, sweaty and grimy from the sandbox, holding tight to someone else. The sun hot on your back. The sharp smell of the dandelion chain, sticky, around your neck. Spinning faster and faster, your hands squeezing tighter and your stomach singing inside you. Knowing your going to fall. Thrilled by the prospect.
And finally falling, your squeals and giggles weaving around in time to the spinning in your head. The feel of the grass, cool beneath your hands.
For the past year, I feel like I’ve been spinning. Faster and faster, my hands grimy with the work that tries to bury me, my stories singing inside me. Knowing I’m going to be published, thrilled by the prospect. And yet terrified at the same time.
Because falling is frightening. Even when it’s fun.
So what would the title of your year be?
Author
Still treading water, closer to shore.
Finally, The Beginning
My husband and I waited 5 years for our son to come into our family. He was born in October of 2009, and his adoption was finalized the very end of December 2009. I felt like 2010 was the year we could relax and not worry about court and social workers and everything else. We were just a family. I was home, being a mom, and loving it.
If I Don't Make It, Remember How Much I Love You!
This is why:
I was so sick in 2010 that there were times when my severe neurological disease did such terrible things to my body I didn't know if I would survive another day.
I have two children that I wrote letters to (I'm crying now as I write this) telling them how proud I was of them, to always be there for each other and most of all, that I loved them more than anything and no matter what, I'd always be with them.
I wrote other letters to my other family and my besties that have stood by me. I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.
The end of 2010 and into 2011 saw me bedridden, unable to walk, in severe uncontrollable pain and feeling as if I couldn't face another day of the hell I was enduring but worse, what it was doing to my loved ones.
Then, I was referred to a well known specialist who chooses her cases based on severity. We were afraid she wouldn't take me but she did.
This woman made a difference in my life that I can only call miraculous. She spent over 2 hours with my husband and I and found things that the other specialists overlooked.
After some med changes, and other things I'm doing sooooo much better! I'm still stuck in bed but only for another week or two.
For the first time I have HOPE! My family & friends can already see a difference in me! I've gained some weight, my spasms have decreased, and other things have just gotten so much better.
It's amazing to think how bad I was doing from then until now! I am both grateful and blessed.
I will take each day as it comes and squeeze every bit of joy out of it as I possibly can!
I think despite our 'problems' in life, the truly important things are those that are right in front of us; just the simple everyday things-a hug from a child, a smile from a loved one, feeling the sun on your face, being able to walk to the bathroom on your own :o], etc… the other things will work themselves out.
That would be my story for 2010!
Have a Great Weekend!
To be honest, I'd go with "Out of Focus."
There were some accident recovery and depression issues that I had to wade through, and I almost considered to surrender writing altogether. Kind of drifted for a while and lost focus on why I'm doing this. 2011 has been good so far. Haven't given up yet! 🙂
The Miasma Channel: Tales from the Edge
JoLynne: Is the shore the road in front of your house? Cause I thought you said you weren't swimming in that???
Deborah: Yay for babies! The first one is SO much fun. :)You're new and they're new and you learn everything together.
Kristi: Wow. Just, wow. I had to swallow back tears as I read your story. You are a strong woman, and I'm SO glad you're doing better.
David: I didn't know you had an accident??? I'm glad your better this year too. Hang in there!
Charlie: 🙂
Rollercoaster. 🙂