Anybody know what happened to Amber? Well, let me tell you. Her seven month daughter is sick and she’s up with her all night every night (ergo, she is referring to herself in the third person and using words like ‘ergo’).

In an intricate plot to swindle cookies from their zombie like mother, her three children have also made dang sure she’s not able to take a nap.

She’s also in the last throes of wresting edits out of her newest MS until it cries, “Uncle.”

On top of all this, she is very frustrated with the publishing industry as a whole. She would like to formally berate said industry for failing to answer her submissions in over a year. She would berate said industry professionals (and she uses ‘professionals’ in the loosest possible terms), but will refrain as it is considered unprofessional, and as this post so succinctly shows, she is nothing but professional.

As a parting shot, to all publishers who still have her MS (and it’s abundantly clear you have no idea who you are), she would like to invite you to kiss her big toe.

NOT THAT BIG TOE, IDIOT, THE OTHER FOOT!

Ah, now anyone feel better?